Can I confess something to you?
There's a thought I've had come into my mind multiple times over the last few months.
It's not a dirty thought.
It's not an inappropriate thought.
At least not in the usual way we refer to those types of thoughts.
It's a prideful thought.
I'll tell you what it is in just a second.
The History
Last May, I thought I was minding my own business, taking care of my body, making it as strong and resilient as possible.
In a matter of weeks, a growth on my tongue turned into the phrase, "Chris, you have cancer."
Wow! Talk about a world-stopper of a conversation.
We don't know exactly what was out of balance in my body, but it's obvious that something was.
Because we all have some form of 'cancer' cells growing in our body at all times, yet our bodies are able to keep up with those cells and eliminate them before they cause damage.
A cancer cell is--put too simply--a cell that grows exceptionally fast and isn't wired to operate the way it should be.
In my instance, a sore on my tongue led to cancer cells growing on that spot, and it kept growing out of control...
...because my body was not in balance in some fashion.
It probably had something to do with the ratios of the fats and essential fatty acids and proteins and everything else I was eating.
While most of the food I consumed was healthy, it wasn't in the proper ratio to allow my body to defend itself against those abnormal cells.
That's the history.
The Prideful Thought
After surgery this summer, and throughout my healing journey, I had the same prideful thought enter my mind multiple times.
Can I share it with you now?
I would see someone overweight or eating something terrible for them or doing something that I had since chosen not to do again, and I would judge them harshly with a question in my mind.
The question: why don't THEY get tongue cancer and I did?
I would sit there, as lean as I have ever been in my life, eating the cleanest diet I have ever consumed, prioritizing my health and recovery over everything else, and I would judge very harshly.
I would almost wish it to happen on them and that my experience of having cancer would be taken away.
I didn't like how I felt when I thought that question.
It's one of those questions there is no answer to.
Why did I get cancer?
Well, we don't actually know the fine details of it.
It's a never-ending spiral of questions many people have slid down, and it never seems to result in a satisfying answer or solution.
But...
Thinking Better
I'm grateful to say I came across something last week that is helping me make the shift to better thinking.
I'm excited to share it with you, and whether you get excited about it or not, this sentence is proof of putting it into practice.
You may know that I'm a huge fan of Stoic philosophy, as I study and read people from ancient Rome who liked to think about how to live correctly.
There's a lot of mindset topics, and I have found that when I think better I tend to do better.
Marcus Aurelius is my favorite Stoic author to date, and he wrote a sentence that is setting me free from that terrible, prideful thought I confessed to you.
He said, "Tolerance with others, strict with yourself."
I can have tolerance with others, while being strict with myself.
That is a very freeing thought to me.
Cato the Younger, another ancient philosopher, said it this way, "I am prepared to forgive everybody's mistakes, except my own."
Ryan Holiday, my favorite modern-day author, said, "It's called self-discipline for a reason"; not others-discipline.
I do not answer for anyone else; I only answer for myself.
I am allowed to be as strict with my diet and my fitness and my overall health as I want to be.
I get to decide those things.
Yet am I as gracious and generous with my perspective and attitude toward those who have no desire to even line up with my own strict guidelines?
Holiday suggests that there is a higher plane of living that is judged by how compassionate we are, how kind we are, how understanding we are, and how loving we are toward others.
While I cannot answer why I ended up with cancer and had to undergo the invasive surgery to remove it, I can decide how loving and understanding and kind and compassionate I can be.
Because those are the motives that allow me to feel satisfied with life--when I interact with others in those ways.
That's a satisfying life!
Not knowing why something happened.
What about You?
Is that you today?
Have you imprisoned yourself with prideful judgment just like I had?
Set yourself free by letting them go.
Yes, be strict with yourself, and give your best and push for your best.
I am for that!
I am for you pursuing excellence.
But be tolerant with others, because you can't control them, and you know you don't really want to either.
It's a big enough job taking care of yourself.
You don't need to take on everyone else too.
Operate in Strict Tolerance today.
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