Quite a few years ago, my wife and I read a book.
(I am telling you that SO many things changed for us after reading a book!!!)
This book was different than any other book we had read. It was a fairly quick read, with short chapters that told a story and made one single point.
It challenged us to see things differently, especially from a faith perspective.
It challenged us to live intentionally.
The book was called Love Does, by Bob Goff.
As Bob wrote about some of the stories of raising their three kids, one chapter stuck out to us.
As my memory serves me, he told his kids that when they turned 13 years old, he would take them on a trip anywhere they wanted to go. It was a sort of coming-of-age trip, and it would create some memories they would share the rest of their lives.
His daughter wanted to have high tea at noon in England. So they flew there and packed as much as they could into a couple short days.
One of his sons wanted to ride dirt bikes, so they found some dunes they could drive around on. Bob remembers watching his son take his dirt bike full-throttle off the top of a dune. He remembers the terror of watching his son fall away from the bike as he plummeted out of view. When Bob reached him, his son was dusting himself off, and he had the biggest grin on his face that he could recall.
Well, Rachel and I decided to adopt a similar practice. We decided when the kids turned 10 years old, we would take them on a special trip.
A year and a half ago, Rachel took Ainsley on her trip to Nashville.
This week, I am taking Jacoby on his trip to Milwaukee and Chicago.
We have some goals with the trip.
1 - Have fun and create some lasting memories.
That will be the result of attending our first NBA game, and also attending an MLB game.
It may entail an escape room or some go-karts too.
2 - Speak intentionally.
Because of the age, there are certain "talks" that will be had as we help them prepare for the changes their bodies are about to go through.
It's not something we want them to be scared of. It's not something that needs to feel awkward.
It's a fact of life.
While our kids know most of where babies come from at this point because of showing sheep for 4-H projects and being around the barn where their cousins raise them year-round, there is more to the topic that can be shared.
So we will speak with intention about all of that.
3 - Create a safe space for future conversations.
Our big goal in parenting is to raise our kids in such a way that they want to be around us when they are older and have a choice. Right now, they don't have a choice. Right now, we get to dictate a lot of what they do and don't do.
Eventually, they will be old enough to make their own decisions. We want them to be comfortable coming to us at any point about any topic they have questions about.
Sure, they may choose other adults and even their friends at times. That's ok too. But we are creating safe spaces for them to be open about some of those private areas that can very easily be hidden and kept secret.
Now, will our kids actually open up to us later?
We don't know yet. We don't have control over the future.
But we are doing our best to set the stage so that it gives them an option to.
So let me ask you a question, because that's what I do.
How are you and your spouse living intentionally with your kids?
What are you doing now to set them up well for later?
What are you creating now to savor together for years to come?
How are you parenting on purpose?
What is your end goal with your kids?
Answer those questions honestly.
Are your actions lining up with the values you say you want?
If that's the case, make some adjustments and improve those actions.
Remember, when we Think Better, we tend to Do Better.
Parent with purpose this week!!!
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